An extremely important component of conflict management is an understanding and mastery of a set of communication skills. Good communication skills are not difficult to learn, but they may be difficult to put into practice. One of the important skills that needs to be a part of quality communication
is self-assuredness. As with all the skills in this set, self-assuredness in communication has a verbal aspect and a non-verbal aspect.
The non-verbal aspect of being self-assured in a communication situation involves several considerations. One of the first non-verbal interactions that people meeting for the first time have is the handshake. Studies have shown that first impressions are ultimately the most important and the handshake can make or break a good first impression.
A weak, disinterested, or cold handshake cannot help but communicate a lack of self-assuredness. A firm (but not too strong of course) handshake communicates the opposite. Keeping good posture and eye contact are also non-verbal signs of self-assuredness.
Maintaining an open posture, a limited but effective use of hand and body gestures, and the appropriate amount of eye contact all communicate that you are aware and involved in the communication event. An awareness of personal space boundaries and comfort levels also contribute to good communication, and self-assuredness will be an important part of the message.
The verbal aspect of being self-assured in communication is similarly complex. Tone of voice is very important, and research has shown that participants in a conversation have a subconscious or perhaps conscious reaction to tonal qualities. A constricted, unnatural tone implies dishonesty, and can communicate a lack of self-assuredness.
A natural and comfortable-sounding voice invites the listener to be receptive and communicates that the speaker in charge of his or her emotions and is self-aware.
An appropriate speed of verbal communication also has an effect on perceived self-assuredness. A speaker who speaks too quickly gives the impression of nervousness, lack of self control, and ultimately seems not a self-assured person.
Conversely, a natural yet efficient speed communicates a self-assured character. Finally, the use of interjections, commonly heard as pauses and ums, ahs and so on, do not have a place in self-assured communication.