Phobias can occur at this stage and remain through adulthood in the child-ego. Children also learn through parental discipline to fear breaking parental commandments. This can result in adults preferring the company of other adults who give their child-ego permission to indulge or have fun. Fear of punishment can drive adults to revert to a fearful child-ego state when confronted with criticism or anger.
The basic nature of the child-ego is uninhibited, but inhibitions arise quickly when something causes pain. For many people, fear of pain is a greater motivator than desire for pleasure. However, it takes extensive or severe experiences to alter our innate preferences.
Our innate preferences are part of the child-ego. Loving sweet foods, disliking very bitter drinks and specific physical pleasures are part of the child-ego. If we do not learn to control the impulses from the child-ego to indulge in pleasures or to redirect our desires into healthier options, adults suffer for it. Eating too many fatty can result in obesity. Constantly snacking on sweetened goods contributes to tooth decay.
Our parents controlled our access to desirable goods. Adult relationships suffer when we expect partners to act like parents, denying us desirable things through actions such as giving their spouse an allowance to spend on clothes or placing a lock on the fridge to prevent overeating. The adult-ego will reflect on the consequences and options for indulging in the desires of the child-ego.
For example, someone could indulge in a low fat ice cream bar but only after they have worked out at the gym. They could allow themselves to spend $100 on a shopping trip after paying off $1,000 in debt. A spa day or weekend of pampering is indulged in after the adult has seen to their responsibilities like finishing a major project.
(continued from part one)