The influence of upbringing/education when rejecting the rules
A child taught that rules are constraints against their natural urges will rebel against rules as undue violations of their freedom. Children who learn that tantrums make rules bend will challenge them passive-aggressively or aggressively until they get their way or face a serious consequence.
Children with an inflated sense of self-esteem based on an “I’m ok – you’re not OK” view of the world often think that rules apply to others but not to them. Children taught that the rules are made by those with a malicious intent to “hold people like us down” are more likely to break them as a source of revenge against authority seen as deliberately hurting them.
How upbringing and education improve or worsen compliance
Children brought up to obey the rules with immediate and strong consequences are more likely to learn to obey them with minimal hesitation. Children who see consistently applied rules are less likely to rebel against them if they are applied fairly. Children should understand what rule they broke and how their consequences are directly tied to their decision in order to learn to follow the rules next time. For example, if a child watches too much TV and forgets to study, the punishment of denying TV for a week is reasonable.
Children who live with ever-changing rules are experience more hesitation in following them, since the rule may change shortly. When the consequences of punishments vary from inconsequential to extreme, children rebel against the individual applying punishments which seem unfair. When parents allow anger to build up as trade stamps and then mete out disproportionate punishments for minor infractions, children rebel against the parents themselves as unfair.
Adults who fail to enforce rules from a desire to be liked by their children encounter disobedience because children have learned that the rules are optional. Waiting too long to implement a punishment causes children to lose the association between the wrong choice and the consequence.