Child-ego analysis allows for adults to begin understanding child-ego. The child-ego contains many of our earliest fears, often caused by grave punishments for violating parental edicts. Conflicts arise when the adult-ego and the child-ego have competing impulses.
• The child-ego wishes to please the parent. The adult-ego has selected a career path based on skills and desires. The person then goes to school and studies what the parents deem to be a desirable career instead of what they want, choosing to seek parental approval over personal desires.
• The child-ego seeks to please the person in a parental-ego role in their life. This can be a mentor or a spouse. The individual does what the other person wants, such as moving across the country to follow a job or abandoning interests and friends, in an effort to avoid conflict with the dominant partner or to please them.
• The child-ego is afraid of conflict with others and possible disapproval. So the adult remains silent in the face of immoral or illegal conduct, though the adult-ego knows that it is legally or professionally required to report the events.
• The child-ego craves pleasure and approval. The adult-ego recognizes the danger of over-using addictive substances. The individual gives in to demands that they chug beer or try pills in order to solve the conflict by promising themselves they’ll only do it “just this once”. However, once in an altered state, the child-ego cannot get into contact with the adult ego and control is lost unless a responsible adult intervenes.
• Adults follow the dictates of their parents into adulthood out of child-ego fears of grave punishments that can no longer be meted out. Adult children abandon potential mates or even break up their own family to please a parent who does not approve of their spouse.
• The child-ego craves adventure and fun. The adult-ego recognizes this desire but does not plan activities periodically to enjoy life. This causes the person to build up “trade stamps” as they work hard without any fun. When an offer comes in such as “why don’t you come with us to Vegas?” or “let’s hit the ski slopes”, the person immediately accepts the offer as approval. The adult then gives in to the child-ego, regardless of their ability to afford the major outing. The giving in to the child-ego can also be done regardless of other commitments or obligations.
• The adult-ego recognizes the need to manage one’s weight. The child-ego craves sweets and fatty foods. The person assumes that willpower is sufficient, instead of using their adult rationality to plan periodic pleasures like an ice cream sundae at Sunday dinner or healthier options like pre-portioned sugar-free snacks. Instead, the person gives in periodically and binge eats without any self control. At some point, the child-ego comes into contact with the adult-ego and the person realizes how the indulgence affects their weight management or weight loss plan.
The child-ego out of guilt may seek to compensate with induced vomiting, extreme exercise or giving up food for several days. The person may also seek to punish themselves by throwing away all good tasting food in the house.