Dealing with conflicts

Conflicts arise in various aspectsof life. Many times, these result in displays of aggression that often affect relationships for

a significant amount of time thereafter. Contrary to popular belief, aggression is not always displayed physically.

The underlying emotion for any conflict leading to aggression is frustration. The frustration usually arises from not being able to convince the other person to accept one's point of view. When one is stubborn about one's own point of view, it is harder to understand what the other person is talking about. The mind is virtually shut to any new or different information.

When one party is passive the conflict may fizzle out at that moment, but in fact it will have no concrete conclusion. This may cause it to arise repeatedly thereafter. On the other hand, if both parties are stubborn, and refuse to back down, it may even come to blows.

The best way to solve conflicts is to prevent it from happening in the first place. This however, cannot be enforced by a single participant in an argument. It must be a conscious effort from all involved. The famous 'count to ten' suggestion could be teamed up with actually using those ten seconds to look at the situation from the other persons point of view and respect their difference of opinion.

This will enable both individuals to have a constructive discussion rather than a wasteful argument. You can respect what the other person has to say even if you don't believe what they are saying is right. Instead of bluntly rejecting what they have to say with statements like "You're wrong!" or "That's impossible!", you can use a more positive statement like "I know where you are coming from, but..." or "Yes, I see your point of view, however...". These simple but effective steps can help you avoid unnecessary conflicts.