Motivation, Child-ego, Expectations II

Focusing on the ego state of the Child, it is normally beyond the capacity of a child to identify within themselves what their motivations are, much less express those motivations and desires to others as specific expectations. This can be true as well for adults who operate consistently from the ego state of the Child.

Life may then be lived in an unhealthy state of dreams or illusions that prevent healthy growth and development. For the actual child, they may dream of a home where two parents do not constantly argue, and may actually idealize one or both recalcitrant parents so much they create an illusion of a harmonious home that does not actually exist.

The adult operating habitually in the ego state of the Child may be constantly waiting for something beyond them to rescue them. They wait for their "big break", the "right person", or the big deal or perfect opportunity. Life dozes off into a constant dream of waiting.

They live with the illusion that once the find the romantic partner they have always dreamed of, or they get the big break at work they have always been looking for, then life will actualize into the fairy tale fantasy they have always dreamed of.

This stubborn commitment to illusion and fantasy is counterproductive. It hinders productive and meaningful action in the present hour. It tends to hinder the healthy kind of life script analysis that would allow one to discover real motivations, needs, expectations, and desires that are currently dissolving into the sugary quagmire of illusion and unfulfilled dreams.

When the spell of illusion is broken, the inarticulate rebel yell of the child can mellow into the clear tones of adult motivations and expectations. The sleeper shakes off the slumber of misty dreams and shadows, and steps forward into the clear sunshine of authentic motivations for warm relationships, tender intimacy, and real intimacy.

(continued from part 1)

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