The music begins, and a group of boys stands on one side of the dance floor, and a group of girls. on the other. The boys dare one another to ask someone dance, and the girls wonder if anyone will ask them to dance. They have talked about the dance all week, dreamed about the dance all week, plotted and planned the dance all week, and yet there are so many stomachs tied up in knots about the dance, it makes one wonder; why dance at all?
The simple answer is; we must. Our existence as beings with sexual identity, capacity, and function is complicated by the fact that we are born into a Child Ego state entirely dependent on parents or adults who possess unique sexual identity. In Child Ego analysis, it cannot be avoided that the powerful opinions of the opposite sex have much of their origin in the opinions of the parent or significant authority, perhaps especially the parent of the opposite sex.
As the child begins to develop and attain contact with their sexual identity, a powerful guiding voice is that of the parents. Even as a toddler, a girl may sense whether she is perceived by adults as engaging, attractive, or worthy of attention. A little boy may sense whether he is perceived as strong, courageous, and skillful in performing simple tasks or rituals.
Taboos affecting sexual identity are normally established in the family or community of origin. There may be some overlap in injunctions, drivers, and taboos in transactional analysis theory, but injunctions and drivers tend to be more general and recognizable, while taboos tend to be more specific and unique. Having said that, in Child-Ego analysis both injunctions and taboos can affect the development of sexual identity.
The injunctions of, "don't be who you are" or, "don't be important" may be interpreted on a sexual level as, "don't be attractive", or "don't have meaningful, satisfying relationships with members of the opposite sex". More specific taboos that may cause shame, confusion, or uncertainty about sexual identity may be expressed as, "no mixed bathing or swimming with the opposite sex allowed", "don't ride in a car alone with a member of the opposite sex", or "no kissing or sexual contact before marriage".
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