Keeping the Child Inside

To understand and get the benefits from Berne’s theory of transaction analysis, one must fully understand the three basic ego states which are the main constituents of his theory. Child, Parent and Adult, all are equally substantial. Yet the Child ego is the most fascinating of all, as seen in children in expanded periods of time and even in grownups too in places when they let it take control like sports events and parties.

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The Glittering Traits of Child Ego

All the main characteristics associated with Child are not always considered helpful or beneficial in adult life and many people repress their Child state so that they may avoid unnecessary trouble and complication from their life. Such people believe that adult is able to solve their routine issues with transactions and when it does not work there is Parent to help and hence they may stay I control at all times.

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Role of Environment in Ego Development

Whenever we see a happy, carefree child, we find ourselves not only envious but also a little happy. Envious of his freedom and ignorance and happy because we are nostalgic and remember our childhood days. We miss that freedom so much that we unconsciously act like children every once in a while when we can get away with it. Same is the concept of Child ego in transaction analysis. Child ego analysis is done for every individual to see what kind of Child exists in him.

Most of the people have had normal, cheerful childhood and hence it is easier to understand their Child ego. But understanding child ego structure of a person who has had not a typical childhood is a little more complex. Hence when faced with crossed transaction; meaning when communication is failure because the two parties are not complementing each other’s ego state, and one ego state being an Adapted Child one must try to fathom the unresolved conflicts of that Child which are making him behave this way.

For example, fears and doubts of rejection may be holding the Child back from expressing his true goals and aims and that is why he is being impossible and outrageously stubborn on meaningless things. Sometimes a Child who has had grave punishments handed out on small mischief could be reckless when threatened or warned of consequences of his attitude.

Hence dealing with such scarred Children is a tricky business but not that difficult if one is perceptive enough to rightly deduce the issues and conflicts of Child that is making him act the way he is behaving. Therefore one ought to placate them so that their ego are not only appeased but also help them to perceive the issues in a new light. Like other children they also respond to love and kindness more quickly and easily then they would to logic or punishments.

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