Self-Coaching, Transaction Analysis
Transactional analysis is a very powerful tool for self-coaching. In understanding oneself and modifying one's behavior, awareness and vigilance.
Awareness means that one should understand and be able to recognize patterns of behavior with predetermined endings, in order to be able to take avoiding action, if necessary.
Influence of upbringing/education when tolerating the rules
Rules can be accepted as necessary for someone’s safety. Boundaries can even be a sign of love and concern, such as parents strictly enforcing a “don’t touch the stove” rule. The parents care enough to create rules for the child’s safety and then enforce it, allowing children to know that everything that is permitted is safe.
Time is very important to human beings. We have need to structure time: to fill our time in different ways. One of the worst ways to treat anybody is to deprive them of all sensory input and to leave them with no way of filling the time available to them. Even withdrawal which might seem to be a period where we do nothing is deceptive in this regard, Rather than doing nothing we are actually engaged in a process of introspection.
Making decisions based on fear commonly results in the wrong decision being made. This is why demagogues create a climate of fear before presenting a solution to the crowd. In a calm, logical debate, the idea would be shot down due to the risk, the cost or the morality. In a worried frenzy, the offered solution is accepted with little thought at all because it will make the problem and, hopefully, the fear go away.